WHAT I ATE: THANKSGIVING EDITION

MY PARENTS' MIDWESTERN SPREAD: Like a contestant in a Nathan's Hot Dog-Eating Contest, I stopped consuming food at 12:00 pm Wednesday to make room for this. I did not, however, dip each bite in water to make it go down easier.
  1. Cup of coffee
  2. Glass of champagne
  3. Turkey
  4. Stuffing
  5. Mashed Potatoes
  6. Oyster Dressing
  7. Corn Pudding
  8. Butter
  9. Sweet Potato Soufflé
  10. Broccoli Apple Salad
  11. Cranberry Sauce
  12. Pumpkin Pie
  13. Deviled Eggs
  14. Random swigs of whiskey, straight from the bottle
  15. These painted acorns
  16. This leather bootie
  17. An aircraft carrier
  18. The Hello Kitty Balloon from the Macy's Parade
  19. I'M A MONSTER