WHY I WILL PROBABLY END UP ALONE

  1. Because, during my morning mirror close-up, I found a gray hair on my head.
  2. And even though I knew that by getting rid of said gray hair, ten more would come to its funeral— I plucked it anyway.
  3. But then, before I could take a picture of the hair, which I planned to send to my sister, along with a caption like "the end is nigh" or something similar,
  4. The doorbell rang. Medication Delivery!
  5. And I had to answer, and sign, IN MY SHORT-FOR-SUMMER GRANNY NIGHTGOWN.
  6. And while I'm really glad the handsome UPS guy was kind enough to look away while I scrawled my name on his electronic signature pad,
  7. My bigger concern is whether he noticed that in my left hand, I was still carefully holding the tweezers.
    Like, with my arm outstretched. IN TRIUMPH. Or terror.
  8. The tweezers...and the hair.