JUDGE JUDY TAUGHT ME

Life lessons from ya honor.
  1. Show me receipts or it didn't happen.
    Sorry, JJ can't hear you over your lack of evidence.
  2. Smartphone pics or it didn't happen.
    I mean, you have an evidence-gatherer in your pocket.
  3. We don't like things that don't make sense. If it doesn't make sense, it's probably not true.
    JJ gon' get to the root of your lie. Beleedat, hunty.
  4. You can say anything you want to someone, however rude, if you address them as Mr./Ms. & ma'am/sir first.
    Sir, are you stupid? This is a real question.
  5. Get a written agreement.
    What is this, the 50's? When a man was only as good as his word? Lol nah.
  6. Don't argue. Ask questions until they expose the fallacy of their own argument.
    I believe the expression is, "enough rope to hang oneself".
  7. Don't interrupt. You'll get your turn. Interrupting just makes you look bad.
    Actually it makes you look like that one kid in the class who no one can stand. We KNOW you know. Put your hand down.
  8. Making faces while someone else is talking counts as an interruption.
    JJ can see you. Everyone can see you. Fix your face.
  9. No matter what is actually in the manila folder, try to have some paperwork in a manila folder. It will help your case.
    Get your shit together, and put it in a Manila folder. Plus, "let me just look in my folder here..." Buys you time to come up with an answer.
  10. Sexts are completely admissible in court.
    Even the deleted ones.