INJURIES OF YOUTH

  1. Age 4, adult totally demolishes my foot at country club
    It was the 4th of July and someone managed to slide a metal deck chair onto my foot and leave it there for a while.
  2. Age 4, face scar from my Dalmation
    She was a puppy and I was a puppy and we couldn't figure out how to play together.
  3. Age 4, puked on my Dalmatian
    Maybe not an "injury" per se but I think our relationship was injured after this. I had a stomach flu and she loved to sit at my feet.
  4. Age 5, bitten by Annie
    Waiting in line in PE class.
  5. Age 5, bit Annie
    Of course I got in trouble and she didn't.
  6. Age 6, fell from soccer goal post
    Had two black eyes and a swollen nose for months. People probably assumed I had abusive parents. An older schoolmate was pushing me back and forth as I swung from the top of the post. Then she was gone. My tiny body dropped and I face planted on the metal bar on the ground. I remember my PE teacher rocking me in her lap while we waited for my parents to take me to the hospital. Being held by someone who is not your mother when in peril is a rotten feeling.
  7. Age 7, sprained both wrists roller skating
    I skated over to my neighbor Hannah's house to see if she was home. No one answered the door. Instead of slowly walking my way back down the cement stairs, I decided it would be easier to roll down the grassy hill. 7 year old me was not very logical. Later in a school mass, an upperclassman shoved me into a pew and re-sprained those spindly baby wrists. Ever hear a child scream bloody murder in a cathedral?
  8. Age 8, gave boy in karate class a black eye
    We were sparring. He was 11. He started joking around and dodging my punches. One wrong dodge landed my fierce little fist directly on his right eye. That week his older brother came up to me at the local pool and thanked me.
  9. Ages 11-13, repeated falling
    I had Osgood Schlatter, a knee condition many growing pre-teens experience. Because of this, I would trip over my feet in the middle of crowded school hallways. I was the "before" from all of those Rachel Leigh Cook 90's movies.
  10. Age 13, airborne on a jet ski
    Landed on the front of the jet ski. My friend Alyssa fell on top of me. She was driving and decided to go really fast over the wake of a boat. That turd head flipped us and sent us flying. The worst part was her landing on my leg which turned deep purple from hip to calf. I was on crutches for the rest of summer camp.