THINGS I RECENTLY PUT ON MY FACE

I put these things on my face to see if they made me look better.
  1. Frozen blueberries
    I defrosted them. Apparently the antioxidants make you look nice. I smelled good and attracted several dogs.
  2. Greek Yogurt
    This one was a bad smell. Lactic acid works to peel your skin off your face. I looked like one of the lizard skin people on Game of Thrones.
  3. Raw honey
    Bad idea to go outside with this on your face.
  4. Coffee
    Also not great to be around humans with this on your face.
  5. Avocado
    This is my favorite. You get to very lazily lick guacamole off your face and say "fatty acids" to anyone who asks. FaTtY aCiDs.
  6. Baking soda and lemon
    This kind of stings but the good news is you can multi-task and clean your whole house with your face if you want to.