THINGS THAT MAKE ME THINK IM SECRETLY AN OLD PERSON

  1. My love for cranberry juice is unparalleled
  2. I physically struggle to stay awake past 10
  3. Frequent heartburn
  4. I can't drink soda because the carbonation freaks me out
  5. Desire to go out is at a pretty constant zero
  6. I hate dating
  7. Constantly complaining about my back/hips/knees