I LOVE BEING MARRIED SO SOMEONE ELSE CAN DO ALL THIS STUFF

Because no. Not me.
  1. Cleaning the cat box
  2. Taking out the trash
  3. Hanging stuff up
  4. Painting
  5. Disposing of dead bugs
  6. Checking for intruders
  7. Fixing the garbage disposal
  8. Putting together things with 800 steps in the directions
  9. Cleaning up barf (kids/cat/anyone)
  10. Unloading 12 packs of cokes from the car
  11. Changing light bulbs