What He's Telling You When He Doesn't Text Back

I'm old(er) and (not) wiser, but here's what I surmised after the downward spiral that was last night
  1. He's busy
    He had other plans that didn't include me, and he's off doing them. FINE
  2. He forgot his phone
    That happens right? Cause like, this one time I forgot my phone at home on the way to work and even though I was halfway there, and even though turning back meant I was going to be twenty minutes late, guess what I did? I turned back! That phone is a motherfucking appendage and I need it with me at all times. But like, yeah, he totally forget his at home.
  3. He's just not that into you
    Ummmm....lol! That for sure can't be it!
  4. He died
    I'll wear a chic LBD to his funeral. RIP, sir. RIP