THINGS GOING THROUGH MY MIND AS I WAIT FOR MY 1ST TATTOO

I am getting my first tattoo. I am 37.
  1. My mom is going to fucking kill me even through I'm married, with two kids and thirty fucking seven.
  2. What if the artist sneezes and my bird gets a penis?
  3. Will I ever be elected to office with a tattoo?
  4. At least it's not a heart on top of my boob
  5. I hope they check that kids ID.
  6. I'm going to throw up.