Two friends showed up in town and crashed with me. Here's what they talked about.
  1. "What are people that study amphibians and reptiles called again?" "Weirdos?"
  2. "We didn't like that girl at first, remember?" "Yeah but then she told us that story about getting stabbed."
  3. "How do you know so much about barnacle penises?" "I'm not lying. Look it up." "I don't even know what a barnacle is."
  4. "Wanna come with me to Montreal? You can try poutine." "What's poutine?" "Fries with gravy." "Ew, no I'm gonna stay here in the U.S. and just use ketchup."
  5. "Is it ok if I eat this tomato? I can get you a new one."
  6. "That chick asked me if I was a lesbian like 10 times and I told her I was married to a dude and she still thought I was a lesbian." "She probably was hitting on you. I got real sexual vibes from her." "Totally. It's so crazy she was stabbed."
  7. "For $5000 would you jump in that water for 10 minutes?" "A guy once offered me $20,000 to jump off a boat in the ocean in the middle of the night but there were sharks so I didn't do it." "...Answer my question."
  8. "Are you mad at me cause I punched you in my sleep?"
  9. "Why is my suitcase by that street sign? I thought you were gonna watch it." "It has wheels, what do you want from me?"
  10. "Who's texting you?" "That girl that got stabbed"