HOUSE GUEST CONVERSATIONS
Two friends showed up in town and crashed with me. Here's what they talked about.
- •"What are people that study amphibians and reptiles called again?" "Weirdos?"
- •"We didn't like that girl at first, remember?" "Yeah but then she told us that story about getting stabbed."
- •"How do you know so much about barnacle penises?" "I'm not lying. Look it up." "I don't even know what a barnacle is."
- •"Wanna come with me to Montreal? You can try poutine." "What's poutine?" "Fries with gravy." "Ew, no I'm gonna stay here in the U.S. and just use ketchup."
- •"Is it ok if I eat this tomato? I can get you a new one."
- •"That chick asked me if I was a lesbian like 10 times and I told her I was married to a dude and she still thought I was a lesbian." "She probably was hitting on you. I got real sexual vibes from her." "Totally. It's so crazy she was stabbed."
- •"For $5000 would you jump in that water for 10 minutes?" "A guy once offered me $20,000 to jump off a boat in the ocean in the middle of the night but there were sharks so I didn't do it." "...Answer my question."
- •"Are you mad at me cause I punched you in my sleep?"
- •"Why is my suitcase by that street sign? I thought you were gonna watch it." "It has wheels, what do you want from me?"
- •"Who's texting you?" "That girl that got stabbed"