WHY A 10-DAY VACATION IS NEVER LONG ENOUGH
You gotta do two weeks min if you're paying for a trip abroad
- •Day one: traveling to destination
- •Day two: lost to jet lag and figuring out how the shower works. You also forgot your power adaptor, toothpaste, and socks. Gotta find a "chemist" or whatever the hell they call it in that country and buy weird versions of those things.
- •Day three: this will be your big day out in that capital city! Except it's some random national holiday no Fodor's book mentioned and everything is closed. Except that chemist shoppe. You go back and buy weird gum.
- •Day four: it's raining. Stay in your hotel and watch Alf in their language. Pass out by 5p because jet lag is still a bitch.
- •Day five: you booked a side trip to a small heritage town 2 hrs away. You get there and look at a church destroyed by WW2 and buy a snowglobe with sheep. 2 hrs back on the train and you stop by your chemist to buy weird native Pringles and say hi to Puppett (you swear to god that's the cashier's name to your traveling companion)
- •Day six: take two of big day on the town! You go to the famous art museum but half of it is closed for being under construction. Anthony Bourdain recommended a restaurant across town so after two hours of getting lost on their bus lines, you arrive to find that restaurant is now a chemist shoppe. Defeated, you go in and buy a weird chocolate.
- •Day seven: you paid a ridiculous amount of money to go in a hot air balloon ride. After a 2 hr ride out to the country, the people decide conditions are too windy. They give you a free tshirt and partial refund and drive you back into town. You go down to the bar in your lobby and get absolutely shit-faced with a group of German backpackers
- •Day eight: wake up at 3p, hungover. You missed that boat tour thing!! Shit. Off to see Puppett and buy weird flavored chips and their version of ginger ale. Alf marathon back in the room.
- •Day nine: laundry, packing, and hastily buying souvenirs for the 15 people on your list. You see a guy in traditional cultural garb, take a pic with him and post it to Instagram. People back home love it! "Have so much fun over there!" they say.
- •Day ten: fly home. Fuck! You forgot to say goodbye to Puppett.