Breakfast foods I'd eat everyday if I had the metabolism of a 15-year-old boy

  1. A Toasted Montreal Bagel with Margarine
    -Margarine not butter. This is essential because it tastes both extremely unnatural and delicious (no Toronto or NYC bagels allowed)
  2. A Warm Blueberry or Carrot Muffin
    -Yes, I actually do prefer these over chocolate chip ones. Not the whole-grain healthy shit though, these are the synthetic blubbery muffins that taste like cake and have that extra sugary crumble on top. In terms of the carrot muffin, I will gladly substitute the one for a box of those bite-sized ones.
  3. Pain au Chocolate (A Chocolate Croissant)
    -Must be from a real French bakery no prepared Costco type shit
  4. A Cheese Bagel
    Not one of those gross bagels covered in cheddar cheese you can buy at Starbucks, but a Jewish-style cheese blintz type pastry. If you don't know what I'm talking about, head to your nearest Jewish bakery and try one now-life changing
  5. Upside-down French toast
    Basically cake.