Is this what you wanted, @BuzzFeed ?
  1. We found each other on a dating app.
  2. It was an opposites attract situation. I was an unassuming college student. He was The Rock.
  3. I'll admit I was intimidated at first. He can walk through fire and my most impressive skill is knowing the names of all the islands in the first Jurassic Park movie.
  4. Over time we found we had more in common than we thought.
    For instance, an appreciation of turtlenecks.
  5. I started to appreciate him, especially when he accepted the CGI rendering of him in The Mummy Returns like a true professional.
  6. A wise man once said, "appreciation grew to respect, respect grew to like, and like grew to love."
  7. I respected The Rock. He did innovative things with zippers and also was hot.
  8. Eventually he became Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and I liked this. He was pushing himself to new places but didn't want to leave his old friends behind.
    This key transitional phase resulted in what is arguably the greatest football movie ever made.
  9. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson could act opposite Julie Andrews and pull off silk pajamas. Life was good.
  10. But then the unthinkable happened: he dropped the Rock.
    This gif became a thing of the past.
  11. I was worried. Would he still be the same Rock I respected? The same Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson I liked?
  12. I knew my feelings had changed, and then it hit me- I LOVED DWAYNE JOHNSON.
  13. San Andreas was an emotional work of art and it was because of my Valentine, Dwayne Johnson.
    A little bit Paul Giamatti but mostly Dwayne Johnson.
  14. The Dwayne Johnson era gave us this gift.
  15. His new show also looks good.
    It involves this outfit, so it works for me.
  16. My Valentine's Day love for the artist formerly known as The Rock runs deep. May you all find your Rock in this world.
    This list started as a joke but got really real.