IF THUNDER IS ANGELS BOWLING, THEN __________ IS ___________

  1. Fog is God testing his Instagram filters
  2. Snow is Moses working on the ice sculptures he sells for Bar Mitzvahs
  3. Heat wave is Abraham forgetting to turn the oven off after baking snickerdoodles
  4. Tsunami is Saint Peter skipping rocks when he's sulking because he got picked last for the intramural softball game
  5. Blizzard is Mary Magdalene furiously throwing away her snow cone because an angel called her fat and now she's on a diet