REALITY TV AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES

  1. Fridge = American Idol
    Cool, lasts forever, and gets less cool with age. American Idol's obsession with nostalgia resembles the photographs, Christmas cards, and homemade Pinterest-fail magnets that often plaster a refrigerator door.
  2. Oven = The Bachelor
    You always have to pay attention or you'll get burnt, aka rose ceremony spoilers all over Twitter that make it mandatory to watch every episode live.
  3. Dishwasher = Masterchef Jr
    Not REALLY a necessity, but so much better than the original.
  4. Waffle Iron = Antiques Roadshow
    Only good things come from a waffle iron. Only good things come from Antiques Roadshow.
  5. Blender = Keeping Up with the Kardashians
    Makes a lot of noise and it eventually becomes impossible to separate the strawberries from the bananas/fact from fiction
  6. Juicer = RuPaul's Drag Race
    The JUICIEST drama.
  7. Kettle = Survivor
    An absolute essential
  8. Keurig = Big Brother
    A Kettle wannabe
  9. Sewing Machine = Project Runway
    Because duh! PR got shuffled over to Lifetime just like your mom's old sewing machine got stuffed in the back of your junk closet.