ADVICE MY MOTHER GAVE ME

A complete list
  1. Always call a lawyer
    Even if you are innocent. Hell, especially if you are innocent. In both cases, call a lawyer immediately. Contrary to what the detectives on TV tell you, this is not a sign of guilt.
  2. Only shave your calves
    Don't shave your thighs. You'll thank me when you're pregnant.
  3. Everything else is up to you.
    Terrifying but true.