So Nathaniel, Hayden and I had went on a damn excursion just for 20 unsatisfying minutes in penis water.
  1. Got to said hot tub and upon our arrival realizing there are people in the hottub
  2. Leaving hot tub and sitting in the car to listen to sad songs
  3. Coming up with the idea that we should check another apartment complex
  4. Checking new apartment complex. Alas: no hot tub
  5. We think time had passed enough and those people are probably gone
  6. They are not
  7. So we walk back and decide to check even more surrounding apartment complexes for other hot tubs (including a literal old person home)
    The old person home was quickly evaded once we realized what it was
  8. During this whole thing I spiraled into a depression fueled by my longing for warm water on my body
  9. After having driven around for probably 30 minutes we figure, once again, "hey they're probably gone now"
  10. They are not
  11. So we begin to devise a plan
  12. Ideas were tossed around: we could leave, no. We could sit in the hot tub and make them uncomfortable, this was not a popular idea.
  13. We began to lose hope. Until a genius idea was presented...
  14. We could walk past the crowd of people in bathing suits toward the bathroom so they get the idea that we want the hot tub and they hopefully leave because of that. Ya know social cues.
  15. They do not.
  16. So 3 socially anxious people are stuck in a hallway trying to devise a new plan
  17. A new genius plan is brought up: we just sit a little far away from then and they'll probably DEFINITELY pick up that social cue and leave.
  18. They do not.
  19. So we are sitting about 30 feet from the hot tub when Hayden points out that it's two couple in the hot tub who are very.... Intimate
    Intimate is a very generous word for how they were actinf
  20. As you can imagine, the level of uncomfortable was excessively high but it hadn't reached it's max
  21. One couple moves to the pool and begin to LITERALLY HAVE SEX
  22. I shit you not she was riding him
  23. So here we are 3 people who are too stubborn to leave this situation.. We decide to stick it out
  24. About thirty minutes pass and we have come to several conclusions: they are now fucking in spite of us, even if they do leave should we even get in the water, we all hate ourselves for our stubbornness, and this night has taken an awful turn.
  25. They finally leave and as we watch these sex fiends leave the venue, Hayden utters "oh no I went to high school with one of them"
  26. It's now 2:00 in the morning and we has waited 3 damn hours for this hot tub and i was not about to NOT get in.
    Nathaniel was on the same page as me, Hayden not so much
  27. We enter with caution as there is probably semen in this water. I basically fall asleep in the water and Nathaniel says "oh no I touched my face with the penis water, does this mean I'm gay"
  28. Based on those last situations it was time to definitely leave.
  29. We walked to the car dripping in what we liked to call "penis water" and also self loathing
  30. I learned a lot about myself through this experience: 1. I will do damn near anything to sit in a mediocre hot tub for 20 shitty minutes 2. Hayden and Nathaniel probably hate me 3. I probably hate myself a little
  31. If you made it this far thank you for powering through this