Things I want to ask my dog

  1. Do you have a crush on any of the boy dogs in our building? I could play wingman.
  2. Does our roommate go in my room when I'm not home? I know he does. It's ok. You can tell me.
  3. Which of my ex-boyfriends did you trust the most? The least?
  4. Does your collar feel like bra? Should I take it off at night because you feel more free? Or more like a watch where you feel naked without it?
  5. Are you healthy? Does anything hurt or bother you at the moment?
  6. Wtf are you chasing in your dreams? Do you ever catch it?