PRETENTIOUS THINGS TO SAY ABOUT COFFEE

these are all things I have said
  1. "I only drink intelligentsia"
  2. "I am so over intelligentsia"
  3. "I can't stand the coffee at [brunch restaurant], I have to brew my own and take it with me"
  4. "I ordered a dark roast at Starbucks and it just tasted like a burnt light roast"
  5. "I think I would only like the hard drugs that are stimulants because I like caffeine so much"
  6. anything argumentative about the caffeine content of espresso