THE STAGES OF SLEEPING TEMPERATURES (HOPEFULLY MORE INTERESTING THAN THE TITLE)

A relationship I've discovered I have with the room I am staying in
  1. Realizing it's absolutely freezing so you turn on the heat and bundle up in the comforter like hibernation is your job
  2. Waking up in a pool of sweat because you realize there really is no middle ground with the damn heater
  3. Climbing out of your hot pocket of a bed in a now drenched t shirt which looks like you went swimming in it like an 8 year old ginger kid hoping to avoid the sun on vacation
  4. Stepping outside of the room hoping for some chilly salvation only to be blasted with the Arctic conditions of the rest of the unheated apartment
  5. Running back into the room of a thousand suns and realizing that this unbalanced icy hot patch of an apartment is making you feel like your body and its regulating systems have failed you
  6. Remaining in a state of awkward cold sweat until you finally just put some fucking clothes on and get on with your day