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  1. Why are their accents so bad? And everyone's accents are different even though they're all from the same parish? Even the siblings? Uh. Okay.
  2. Holy shit, Jason never eats carbs. Look at that.
  3. Ooh, Tara needs to move away.
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  1. July 18: Kid had a birthday. Kid wants to be Dwight K. Schrute when he grows up. Made kid this sign and he cried.
  2. July 1: Husband and I went to see Brand New and Modest Mouse. We are photogenic.
  3. June 23: I found a tick on my leg at work and used this to notify aforementioned husband that I may be becoming a superhero.
    Also, Patrick Warburton and I have the same birthday. SO THAT'S COOL.
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  1. On the way to work, Michael drives past Stanley being pulled over.
    "I know what it's like for The Man to hold a brotha down. Stanley's life matters, guys, and I won't stop until they know that! Rosa Parks didn't run the Underground railroad for nothing!"
  2. While Michael is ranting to the other employees, Stanley walks in.
    Michael freaks out and asks Stanley what happened. Stanley keeps walking to his desk: "I was speeding."
  3. Phyllis keeps saying "all lives matter".
    She really thinks so and doesn't understand why people get upset by it. "But I've sat by Stanley for twenty years, I know black lives matter, just like all lives matter." No one can get it through to her.
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Or, All Day I Dream About Food.
  1. Pizza bagels
  2. Street Tacos with some slaw stuff and carnitas
  3. Not this salad I had for first lunch
    It was sad and disappointing.
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  1. Khal Drogo
    With smaller boobs
  2. Charlize Theron in that one movie
  3. This terrified dog
  4. Charlize Theron in that other movie
I adopted a dog named Chowder six years ago. Maybe I should name more dogs after food.
  1. Fluffernutter
    Only works if it's a male dog...
  2. Primavera
    Little, fancy, floofy dog.
  3. Cheesesteak
    Rescued pit bull.
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