MEMORABLE BAD DATES
None of these are my husband. (OR ARE THEY?*) *they're not
- •Guy takes me to Subway and punches his own palm angrily as he describes his ex.
- •Guy invites me over and makes "chicken Parmesan" by microwaving circular frozen chicken patties and putting sauce on them.
- •Guy shows me the VHS tape of a pageant he won in high school.
- •Guy tells me I'm the best girlfriend he's ever had. The only other one was addicted to crack cocaine.
- •Guy asks me to come along and meet a girl he likes.
- •Guy is not a guy but is my cat watching silently while I eat totinos pizza.