Thoughts I've had during my two-hour (!) conference call

And probably most other conference calls, come to think of it
  1. Who thought this would be productive?
  2. Why are there so many people on the line?
  3. Oh no, someone is a mouth-breather and not on mute.
  4. Do I sound like a mouth-breather on the phone?
  5. Am I on mute?
  6. Does my mute button actually work? I don't know if I trust it.
  7. Well, if it doesn't work, guess everyone is now hearing me chomp on Cheetos.
  8. Awkward silences on conference calls are awkward.
  9. But not as awkward as everyone choosing to fill the silence at the exact same time.
  10. "Sorry, you g-" "No, no, you go ahead" ughhhh
  11. Ack someone just called on me! Stall! Stall!
  12. "Sorry, I was talking on mute..." = a lie everyone uses when really they need a minute to compose
  13. Only one hour, 30 minutes to go...
  14. I have to pee, but I know someone's going to call on me if I leave.
  15. Did someone really just put us on hold?
  16. Lol, we're continuing like no one can hear the hold beeps.
  17. Oh hey, someone decided to join us again.
  18. I'm hungry.
  19. I don't understand what this guy is saying. He's in a really echoey room.
  20. Repeat any combination of the above for the remainder of the call.
  21. Not quite sure what we've accomplished here...
  22. Freeeeeeeedom!