Things I've Realized About Myself This Week

  1. I'm now 60% for another kid and 40% against
    For at least the last 5 years I've considered myself 50/50. I assumed is meet someone and go with what they wanted. Then I met a guy who also seemed to be 50/50. We've been discussing it off and on and I'm realizing I'm closer to a 60/40.
  2. My partner doesn't need to be fucked up.
    I always dated really fucked up guys, in some way they would be fucked up whether their childhood, drama, lies, money, weight, etc. Why?! This week it has hit me- I did it because I thought if they were fucked up then they would be more accepting of my fucked up childhood. The problem is they were all currently fucked up whereas I wasn't, I had overcome my screwed up childhood. My fiancé is the greatest of men and accepts me more completely than anyone previously.
  3. I'm still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up
    The list about this made it clear that I'm still figuring out the answer
  4. My mom was more loving than I gave her credit for during her life
  5. Grief isn't something that you get over, it becomes apart of you. The key is not letting it become the biggest part.