JOBS I HAVE HAD, RANKED

I will be 19 in 2 months but I feel like I've held enough jobs to complete this list in a way that isn't completely pathetic. I look forward to making this list a year from now and seeing how little my life has improved.
  1. 1.
    Swim Director @ the Lake Success Day Camp: this job is fantastic. My day to day schedule includes tanning all day, teaching kids how to swim, and stealing the campers chicken fingers at lunch. Need I say more?
  2. 2.
    Dance Teacher: I'm not going to sit around and say that I touched the lives of all of my dancers... but I'm pretty cool so I can confidently say that I have. Teaching rugrats how to plié is only way I'd want to spend my Tuesday and Friday afternoons throughout high school.
  3. 3.
    Retail associate at a Dance Apparel Store: when I wasn't teaching little mongrels how to dance, I was fitting them for overpriced ballet shoes and leotards. This job is pretty much tied with Dance Teacher bc of the absolute amazing people who helped me up after witnessing me cry surrounded by piles of tap shoes (a low point in my life).
  4. 4.
    Receptionist at my dance studio: this job taught me that everyone thinks their kid is special and that everyone is a moron. Spending 8 hours at the studio on the day tuition is due while children are screaming their heads off is torturous and everyone should experience it at least once.
  5. 5.
    YMCA Swim Instructor: the YMCA is one of the only pools that are open year round. Parents enroll their shitty kids in swim lessons in order to get away from them for an hour. I've met some pretty dope kids here but most of the time they're whiny brats who complain when you time their 200 IMs.
  6. 6.
    YMCA Lifeguard: this is the lowest on the totem poll bc guarding at an indoor pool is a tragedy. The hot and sticky climate proves for an agitated and sweaty lifeguard. The only relief is kicking kids out of the pool and unleashing a reign of terror on those who run on the pool deck.