1. You can't make a silk purse out of a pigs ear ( applies to both sexes )
  2. Shrieking is obviously built into a woman's Dna to kick when mixed with copious amounts of booze
  3. Some drunk bloke is going to stumble into your partner and not apologize
  4. Don't wear suede shoes in a busy bar everyone is going to step on them ( repeatedly )
  5. There is always the bloke who has come straight out of work for a drink and hasn't gone home and continuously looks at his ringing phone and kills the call . He then latches onto the young group of lads to relive his youth. ( he has decided a if he is going to get a good bollocking later he may as well make it worth while )
  6. Nobody knows the words to any song although they sing along with such enthusiasm .
  7. Last point maybe I am too old for all this and should just be at home ( but hey I am having my mid lifer crises so rock n roll )
  8. Last point I can't believe you have read this at all