Some ways to enjoy bacon without that scary outcome of cancer.
  1. Lube
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  2. Coffee
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  3. Deodorant
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  4. Soap
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  5. Sunscreen
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  6. Chapstick
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  7. Mints
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  8. Condoms
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  9. Bandaids
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  10. Toothpaste
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  11. Casket
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    In case you can't give up real bacon. You'll find me here, eventually.