THINGS I HEARD THIS MORNING USING WAZE

WATCH OUT!
  1. "Animal near road"
    There was a dead deer
  2. "Make a U-turn"
    I was in the drive-thru getting coffee
  3. "Object in road"
    I'm guessing it was receipt paper, could've been a large tapeworm
  4. "Fog ahead"
    It's always foggy/sunny in Pittsburgh in the mornings, it's a beautiful conundrum of taking your sunglasses off and on
  5. "Estimated time in traffic 7 minutes"
    Typically it ranges from 15-20 minutes
  6. "Bllrridurrring"
    Waze was alerting me my ETA changed to 5 minutes early
  7. "Vehicle stopped on shoulder ahead"
    HAHAHAHA every 5 fucking minutes, I want to know who these assholes are that input this