THOUGHTS WHILE SERVING FOOD OR DRINKS

Usually serving and bartending can be fun but there are some things you just get sick of hearing...
  1. "Can I have light ice? I like my drinks strong..."
    No, "less ice" does not equate to "more liquor".
  2. "I would like my steak prepared medium rare with no red in it"
    Hmmm...
  3. "Why don't you have Bud Light on draft?"
    We have it in the bottle or you can choose from SIXTEEN draft beers that we do carry.
  4. "Is this dish enough to share?"
    I have no idea how hungry you are...
  5. "Do people like this? What about this? But really... what is the most popular thing here? Eh I'll just have a burger"
    Whyyyy are you even asking when you already know what you want?
  6. Me: "Do you know what you'd like to have to drink?" Customer: "yes...*turns to friend to discuss their options while expecting me to stand there and wait*
    Just tell me you're not ready. I swear I'll come right back. Why are you holding me hostage? After all that, you just order a vodka soda?