1. Knee socks
    Really defines calves
  2. Bright lights
    Hard not to constantly Instagram everyone in this light
  3. Beer
    Contains alcohol
  4. Relentlessly making fun of teammates
    Probably most of the fun is being made at my expense but it's ok because I look great in these socks
  5. Embarrassing nicknames
    Pauly Pineapple, Minesweeper Ben, Single Pete
  6. The commish who we affectionately call "shit talking Joey"
    Commish is probs my favorite abbreviation
  7. Feels "active" while allowing me to remain almost entirely sedentary
    Right field baby
  8. Being told I have a "league of their own" vibe
    I'll take it.