Life in a cult: The emotional trauma

A big reason that I decided to list about these things is that I feel myself forgetting my past. My recall is getting really really bad about the end days in the cult. I need to have some sort of written and saved documentation about this. I don't want to forget. At the same time. I want no part of any of it ever again.
  1. I can't remember large parts about the weekend that we ended up leaving
    That text is to my brother. The dog bite thing is that I was attacked as a child and I have memory loss surrounding the event. I have the same memory loss about this event. That's emotional trauma.
  2. I have a hard time speaking my mind
    Especially to men. I can, but it takes a lot of effort and I feel like what I'm doing is inherently wrong. Even when I know perfectly well that I am in the right.
  3. When I make new friends I'm never sure what to say about my childhood
    Should I just never mention it? Can you really be true friends with someone and them not know such a huge thing about you?
  4. I'm not over it yet
    I don't know if I even am supposed to be