Life in a cult: what I miss

My whole childhood was in this cult, my whole childhood experience is completely tied to the cult life. Things I loved as a kid and miss about my childhood are often things that only happened in the cult.
  1. The closeness in my area
    Since we saw these people 3 times a week, every single week, the people were basically like family. The area I was born into just called allll the adults Aunt and Uncle. I still have some family friends from the cult that I address as aunts and uncles
  2. The closeness across the whole cult
    I have traveled to many states and just stayed in people houses, sometimes my entire family would never have even met the family that we would stay with. It was like cult Airbnb 😂 I miss being able to just go and travel like that
  3. The simplicity
    We knew what was expected of us. We were supposed to do what we were told and eventually get married and have kids and keep on doing the same stuff. Now I'm like wait what? College? Job? Who am I going to marry? Am I going to get married?? All of that is completely different from how I was raised and its scary at times
  4. Beach gatherings
    These were so much fun. I love the ocean, I love silly old fashioned games (like Flying Dutchman) I miss the warm sand and cool air as we all huddled around a smoky campfire and sang hymns we all had memorized. I miss looking across the fire at people I had known all my life and watching their expressions and seeing the fire flicker over their faces. There is a special sort of feeling like the whole rest of the world doesn't exist anymore, just that moment. And i had that part down.
  5. Camps
    I miss going camping up in the mountains with no cell service and staying out late and getting up early and just running allll over the place with all the other kids. All the parents would look out for each other's kids so we just ran around in a big ole group. I miss looking around the room during meetings and looking at the boys and trying to see if any were sneaking looks at you too.
  6. The flirting
    Flirting with boys in the cult was a certain level of something. It was just a really old fashioned game of looks and saying something just barely flirty. A lot like pride and prejudice (without the sin of dancing). It really doesn't translate well outside of the cult. My flirting game sucks now. I try and for all the good it's done, it might as well be ancient fan signals. It's a mess.