A throwback to the life in a cult series. And I think I might get the award for the longest time before answering a request 😂 sorry @lizabeth This has been in my drafts for a long time and people have asked this question a lot.
  1. Growing up with the strict limitations was always hard
    We were taught that we were "shining lights" and basically martyrs. In reality it felt like needless pain and hardship. Every single day I was aware of myself not fitting in. Every single day I wished I could. Even with one other person.
  2. I never felt that we needed to go through the pain to "shine as lights"
    I have believed for a long time (15ish on) that your attitude and how you treat your fellow humans was far more important than what clothes you wore and what "wordly" things you did
  3. I don't believe that G-d cares about that stuff
    I don't believe that a G-d would care what length your hair is, if you watch tv, if you listen to secular music, any of the "rules" that we had to follow just seemed completely arbitrary.
  4. I am a feminist
    I believe that all humans are equal. I don't believe that an older man (or anyone) has any better say over me and my body than I do. Especially not when that mans choices are causing me pain.
  5. Also.
  6. Things in the small cult were getting intense
    Everyone was in each other's business to an insane degree. We had boiled down locally to around 15 people at this point. One of the men that led the group was found out to be having an affair. He left right as it came out and it rocked the group. He had seemed to be the level headed trustworthy man.
  7. The final straw for my whole family was when one of the men tried to punch my dad
    During a "men's meeting" and then humped him against a car yelling that he was being "loving"
  8. I know that the last bit sounds crazy and it was.
    But it really helped to make it clear to my whole family that the cult was toxic and we needed to leave. We all left that day knowing that we were never going back and it was so good to have all of us on the same page about something so big.
  9. There were a lot of little things that led us to the decision to leave
    But now it's been 3 years and I'm forgetting all of the little things. They don't matter. What matters now is that now that we are out of it, it is so obvious that the whole thing was messed up.