Weird boob things

Hey guys, this is how having boobs usually is, don't be afraid! Feel free to ask your boob related questions! This is a safe space! Not every girl does all of these things but I'm pretty sure you all do at least one. This is a combined list of my experience with having boobs, and things my friends have told me about their experiences
  1. Running up stairs and no one is around?
    Hold those things like your hands are sports bras
  2. Laying in bed
    And just kinda holding a boob. Nothing sensual, just literally holding it.
  3. Laying in bed on your side?
    Tuck a hand in cleavage for comfort
  4. Go outside without a bra on and you're creepy neighbor man is out there?
    That's okay because Crossed Arms over your Chest like a Bra™ exists.
  5. Itchy boob in public?
    Cross your arms firmly and if that doesn't work do an awkward slide push rub thing over it with your forearm.
  6. Feel a weird thing that you aren't sure about?
    Get a friend or two to feel it for you, then they say "oh no that feels totally normal, see? Feel mine"
  7. Boob fight
    Literally just trying to hit your friends boobs while shielding your boobs because they are also trying to smack yours. Brutal.
  8. Holding a baby and they start rooting around for the boob and you say
    "Sorry kid, those won't work for you. Mine are decoration only at this point" or something like that
  9. Talking on speaker phone?
    Just set your phone on top of a boob. (This works best for larger boobs)
  10. Phone screen dirty?
    Wipe it on a boob. Maybe a less classy way of cleaning but it's just so convenient!