Adulthood Vignettes That Never Happened

I had huge misconceptions about being a grown up.
  1. Understanding & Properly Using Makeup
    I remember seeing my mom expertly put on her liquid foundation, and mascara while driving at over 50mph. I can't my make face look like a normal woman's even in an unmoving car with good lighting. I definitely assumed I'd be wearing eyeshadow too; nope.
  2. Balancing a Checkbook
    At the end of the month (week?) I thought all adults balanced their checkbooks in those little ledgers while sitting at the kitchen table after dinner. We learned how to in middle school, but who needs that, now we have the interweb to tell us exactly how much our significant others have spent on lunch at work today.
  3. Making and Eating Casseroles
    I think I assumed I'd be a time traveling wife from the early 1960's?
  4. Getting a Perm
    I think my mom might've said that I could get a perm when I was older...I assumed this meant that I would stride into a salon as a grown woman and say "the usual" and get a perm every time I sat in one of those chairs.
  5. Singing Lullabies to my Babies
    I sang songs to my babies, but not any actual lullabies. I actually had a hormonal panic episode when I got home from the hospital with my first baby and realized I didn't know (remember?) any actual lullabies. Turns out whisper singing Manic Monday and Yellow Submarine over and over has the same general affect.
  6. Washing & Drying Dishes at the Sink with my Husband.
    We had a dishwasher in my house growing up, I have no idea why I thought I wouldn't.
  7. Enjoying Gardening
    Will this still maybe happen? When will this happen?!
  8. Wearing pantyhose every day.
    I'm so relieved our generation gave this custom the boot.