I HIRED A NURSE TO COME TAKE AWAY MY HANGOVER AND IT WAS THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.

Im in NYC for an industry conference and went too hard with old friends and clients last night.
  1. 1.
    I am not 28 anymore.
  2. 2.
    I drank like I used to when I was 28.
  3. 3.
    It started on a boat on the Hudson at sunset with some rosé and beer.
  4. 4.
    Then it got exponentially more awesome when this v v chill dog showed up and wore sunglasses
    **ACTUAL PICTURE I TOOK OF SAID DOG**
  5. 5.
    I proceeded to a party thrown by friends! I saw people I hadn't seen in years! I caught up on THE MOST GOSSIP ever while drinking just so many beers.
  6. 6.
    Left at 1:30am feeling pretty fantastic...
    Strutting through my hotel lobby by 1:45
  7. 7.
    ACTUALLY REMOVED MY MAKEUP AND MOISTURIZED MY FACE
  8. 8.
    Brushed my teeth.
    A++
  9. 9.
    Drank 1.5 glasses of water
    A++++
  10. 10.
    Laid down
  11. 11.
    Realized I was way drunker than I thought.
  12. 12.
    Slept for 3 hours.
  13. 13.
    Had some quiet vom time in el baño.
  14. 14.
    REALIZED I WAS IN THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS AND STARTED GOOGLING
  15. 15.
    "Hangover IV recovery house calls"
    "Hungover help nurse visit IV fluids"
  16. 16.
    BOOM
  17. 17.
    2 hours later a very kind nurse named Kate showed up at my hotel room.
  18. 18.
    She spoke quietly
    And gently
  19. 19.
    She made no sudden movements
    Or judgements about my self inflicted condition
  20. 20.
    Then she HOOKED ME UP
    In my bed. In my hotel room.
  21. 21.
    I got electrolytes, dilaudid (sp?) and zofran IN MY VEINS
  22. 22.
    And 30 min later I was at about 85% human and feeling prettttty fantastic.
  23. 23.
    GUYS. Best $$ I ever spent.
  24. 24.
    The end.