Mom-friend Fails

If you can't live near your best friends when you have kids, there's no escaping having to make new mom-friends. Here are a few ways I've been bad at it...
  1. Jokingly made fun of my kid for making shitty art.
    Other mom was not amused. Other mom was trying to point out all the ways it was good. What? Dude. All their art is shitty!! If we can't talk about how hilarious and bad it is, what's even the point?!? (Not within earshot of my kid, cmon I'm not a monster.)
  2. Mommy & Me Ripcord pull
    The new mom who organized the new moms group gave a 10min speech about her parenting philosophy, then made us all go around the table and give stats on our careers. She was the leader, we had to follow rules... I left early and never went back. (Fail on her part, not mine)
  3. Called out Peppa Pig's dad for looking like an animated ball-sack.
    HE DOES!! THEY ALL DO!! she seemed cool, but I pushed it with the ball-sack comment. Her reply: "heh, ok, I gotta go check on Avery"
  4. Play date lurker
    We didn't know just dropping off our kid at someone's house for a play date was an option yet, so I rolled up to the play date and stayed....and stayed...and the mom had shit to do, and it took me way too long to get it.
  5. Offering some of my frozen breastmilk to another mom because she's running low, and I have lots. I KNOW IT'S WEIRD! I'M SORRY!
    I just want mom friends, guys! I'm desperate and awkward! How do adults make friends?
    Suggested by   @daisy