An incomplete list of services I'm happy to provide
  1. Empathy for a non-existent or exaggerated boo-boo
  2. Quietly humming while cleaning the kitchen and making tea for you because you are sick
  3. Happily watch your stuff and laptop while you use the bathroom at the coffee shop
    Offer also valid for children at playground given they're not prone to injury or are sand-throwers
  4. I will read a few books aloud before bed, with some effort towards intonation (one book per child per night pls)
  5. Fruit Smoothies made fresh
    WITH undetectable veggies inside
  6. Hair holding/back patting/soothing words during vomiting*
  7. I will accept and participate in the general adoration of your cat even if just being near it swells my eyes shut and makes my throat itch like I'm dying.
  8. Listen intently to any dreams/nightmares from the night before
    (And any corresponding interpretation/analysis)
  9. A fresh pot of coffee in the morning
  10. Basic hair styling services
    Pig tails, pony tails, basic braiding
  11. Apparently, I will brush your teeth for you
    (1min less than what's recommended by the ADA though)