Scientifically proven.
  1. The crazier the person, the better they are at dog grooming.
  2. The more you like Baileys in your coffee, the more willing you are to ignore the fact that it's a cream based drink that doesn't get refrigerated
  3. The larger the number of people, the slower "Happy Birthday" gets sung.
  4. The more homophobic a man is, the less secure he is in his manhood.
  5. The more clothes you have, the more likely you are to have nothing to wear.
  6. The hotter the coffee, the more desperate you are for the caffeine.
  7. The less confidence you have, the less the opposite sex will be interested in you.
  8. The later you are for your flight, the more likely you are to be stuck behind a student driver.
  9. The less you like cats, the more they like you.
  10. The less you expect, the more you get.
    Suggested by @pili_ervin