REASONS I'M NOT GOING TO YOUR ENGAGEMENT PARTY

  1. 1.
    First. It's in Spokane. No thank you.
  2. 2.
    Where there is no power. And it just snowed. No thank you.
  3. 3.
    It's over thanksgiving weekend. When I work.
  4. 4.
    Also I normally don't even go back to Spokane for thanksgiving. Savin dat money for Christmas and Christmas presents!
  5. 5.
    See reasons 1 &2
  6. 6.
    I'm not getting you a gift.
  7. 7.
    First there's the engagement party. Then the bridal shower. Maybe even a bachelorette party. Then the wedding itself.
  8. 8.
    How much money am I supposed to spend on you? A person I haven't spoken to in person in a year?
  9. 9.
    An evite? Seriously?
  10. 10.
    Fuck you. Sorry I'm a bitch!!! #sorrynotsorry