MOODS I AM IN WHEN I AM PUTTING ON LIPSTICK

When I decide it's a day for lipstick I am thinking one of the following things:
  1. Maybe I will take a lover today
  2. I was born in the wrong era. I would clearly look best with curled hair, nylons, and a purse filled with war bonds
  3. I am filled with feminist rage against the patriarchy and will smear this red warpaint, the symbol of my people, on the prone bodies of my future victims
  4. I am a tragic hero, destined to cry over profound heartbreak. But when I cry I will hold my face very still so I look stunning yet dramatic
  5. Maybe I should become a jazz singer, or take up smoking cigarettes with a cigarette holder
  6. I will probably have about eight husbands and I think I am okay with that
  7. I am a grown woman wearing matching underwear
  8. I put no effort into my hair, please be distracted by this lipstick