Requested by @DCB
If it wasn't for him I'd probably be living in a shed in my parents' backyard. @DCB
  1. I have an iPhone.
  2. I drive a car that is worth more than one thousand dollars.
  3. I get sinus infections.
    The yuppiest of all sicknesses.
  4. I sleep with a humidifier.
  5. I use the Starbucks app.
  6. I live in a two-story house.
  7. I buy organic food.
  8. I think commercial-free Hulu is one of the best things to happen to me in years.