CELEBRITIES I PITY

Child stars are just a given, right?
  1. Claire Danes
    Her cry face is such a cultural joke that surely she must be self conscious every time she cries. That would suck.
  2. The Olsen Twins
    They look like they take themselves way too seriously to ever have fun. Also, one of them was with Heath Ledger when he died (right?) so that probably sucked a whole bunch.
  3. Bill Paxton
    Because even though Twister was amazing, he'll never be Bill Pullman.
  4. Anne Hathaway
    Because I don't like her and I can't articulate why. And then it became a thing that lots of people didn't like her and that made me feel even worse.
  5. Jennifer Garner
    Because her husband's ex was also named Jennifer and that just has to be awkward.
  6. David Spade
    Because I think the death of Chris Farley really broke him. : (
  7. All of them to a degree.
    Everyone knows your business. Who can you trust to be genuine beyond your family and old friends? Paparazzi. Pressure to be smart/good looking/productive/never aging/etc at all times. Strangers thinking you owe them your time. Mega high divorce rate. It just all seems kind of sucky.
  8. Exceptions: (Because they're too awesome and don't need it? Not really sure.)
    Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Stanley Tucci, Giovanni Ribisi, Gary Oldman