Classic Games Kids Play, Ranked

  1. 10.
    Red Rover
    This game will lead to injury approximately 100% of the time. It's terrifying to be the runner and the people towards whom the runner is heading. The only plus is that momentary thrill you get when the other side sings your name and you realize they chose you over the rest of the peons on your team.
  2. 9.
    Bubble Gum
    "Bubble gum bubble gum in a dish. How many pieces do you wish?" Points for not requiring any materials. Kinda pointless though.
  3. 8.
    Thumb War
    Classic thumb war isn't so bad but don't even talk to me about snake holes and cherry bombs. Seems like a stacked game depending on the beefiness of your opponent's hands.
  4. 7.
    Tether ball
    Our tether ball never stays on the the string for more than a week. Otherwise this game would be 👌🏼.
  5. 6.
    Slaps
    The 1st version of this game is when one person holds both hands palms up and the other player gently rests their hands on them palms down. The lower player tries to slap the hands resting on top. This game is awesome and I am awesome at it. The 2nd version is when two boys (it's always boys) grip their right hands like they are going to arm wrestle but instead they take turns slapping the hell out of the back of their opponent's gripped hand. This version is masochistic & I will not have it.
  6. 5.
    Rock, Paper, Scissors
    Having just lost a game of this two days ago, it's got a little bit of a lower ranking than it might otherwise get. The ultimate way to decide who goes first or just a great tournament game. No materials required, everyone in the world knows how to play and cheating is nearly impossible. This is the game that should be used to explain the human race to our future alien overlords.
  7. 4.
    Jump Rope
    Bonus points for providing kids with coordination and cardio while also giving them an opportunity to practice teamwork. Double bonus points and mad respect if you ever mastered double-Dutch.
  8. 3.
    Hide & Seek
    The number one thrill inducer of my childhood. Nothing like breathing as quietly as possible while stuffed in the dryer, hamper or under the pile of stuffed animals on your top bunk.
  9. 2.
    Tag
    The beauty of tag lies in the manifold types of tag there are: tv tag, freeze tag, and my kids' current favorite, zombie tag. The only negative is the cheaters of the world really eff up this glorious game. Calling time-out to "tie a shoe" just before getting tagged or claiming the tagger "only touched their shirt" is THE WORST and should be punishable by law.
  10. 1.
    Four Square
    The ultimate. Requires a decent ball and a piece of chalk and 4+ players. A really great game of four square only comes around once or twice in a lifetime. Cherish it, friends.