HATS I WOULD LIKE TO OWN AND THE OCCASIONS ON WHICH I'D WEAR THEM

  1. A nice top hat
    For my dream Halloween costume as Abe Lincoln
  2. A black birdcage veil
    I will rock this at my first (and maybe second) husband's funeral
  3. A fascinator
    For when I become BFFs with Princess Kate and we attend Harry's wedding together
  4. A fez
    Probably will only wear when drunk
  5. A beret
    For poetry jams and spoken word performances
  6. Urban Sombrero
    For business casual meetings in sunny locations
  7. A Cat in the Hat hat
    To wear yearly on Dr. Seuss' bday (March 2)
  8. A drum major hat
    Also for drinking