Jill is one of the funniest people I know so I write down most everything she says.
  1. You're telling me I slept on a stripper's bed?!
  2. I don't drink milk. I'm not a growing boy.
  3. The best part of taking the day off for my birthday is the bra-lessness.
  4. One of my special skills is knowing how to watch all kinds of shows.
  5. My British accent gave me a headache.
  6. I did spend a lot of time last night looking at Ryan Gosling.
  7. While I'm sleeping my arms fall asleep and then that wakes me up. Can't we all just sleep along?
  8. I'm gonna poop up a storm. I can feel it brewing.
  9. I've recently really gotten into Wikipedia.
  10. Corduroy is the noisiest of fabrics. I used to wear corduroy pants and I felt like I was starting a band.
  11. Honestly, it's a miracle I figured out which hole the tampon goes in.
  12. I used to be kind of thug.
  13. I invented this thing called dance walking.
  14. I just don't understand how someone could not believe in Bigfoot.
  15. My hiccuping had become a lot more violent lately.
  16. You know, for me there is everyone... and then there's moms.
  17. Is there a donor list for wieners?
  18. I'm flying first class. My ass is too big for coach.
  19. I just tried to type spaghetti and it thought I meant ape ghetto.
  20. Do they provide the balls? Or do you have to bring your own balls? BYOB?
  21. I like being photographed with giant things.
  22. This is a good bra- I bought it at Kohls and not Wal-mart.
  23. ~
  24. Anything Eliza sings is right in my range. Is that a little braggy?
  25. Luis, are you going to sleep? I'll try not to rap too hard.