And the senior superlatives they would win.
  1. Giant Green Cowboy Hat
    Best all around. Got it for ONE DOLLAR at a yard sale. Those fools.
  2. Sombrero
    Most authentic. Dropped $20 on this beauty at my local Goodwill. Heavy AF.
  3. Mad Hatter
    Most attractive and sentimental. A gift from my boss on my first day as a teacher.
  4. Safari
    Most dependable. I wear this one on hikes and when I dress up as an animal expert for my students. (That will be a list soon!)
  5. Crown
    Most likely to succeed.
  6. Captain's Cap
    Most likely to not fit on my big head.
  7. Rice Paddy H
  8. Construction Helmet
    Most awkward.
  9. Confederate Soldier Cap
    Most likely to go to jail?
  10. Custodian Helmet
    Most likely to drink tea.
  11. Camo Umbrella Hat
    Must unattractive and most uncomfortable and most "off brand" for me. I don't do camo.
  12. Fedora
    Biggest hipster.
  13. Regular Cowboy Hat
    Most likely to know all the words and dance moves to Cotton-Eyed Joe.