THINGS I WANT TO BUY BUT WON'T BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF SELF-CONTROL AND A LITTLE BANK ACCOUNT

AKA my bday wish list
  1. Electric kettle
  2. A shit-ton of turtlenecks
  3. A watch that costs more than $10
    Big face, leather band
  4. Ankle boots
    Gray, black, brown, tan
  5. A weekly maid service
  6. This shirt
  7. All the HP audio books
    The US and UK versions
  8. A tiny house
  9. A new garage door clicker
  10. Spotify Premium
  11. Audible subscription
  12. Gloves that have the finger pad for iPhone use
  13. A Keurig
  14. A keratin treatment
  15. Some beautiful embroidered handkerchiefs
    Why is the plural of this word not hankerchieves?
  16. A bird bath
  17. A quaffle
  18. A gramophone
  19. A bonsai tree
  20. Several top hats