FAVORITE TOILET-PLAY GAMES, IN ORDER

Don't act like this isn't a thing
  1. 2009-2011: Words with Friends
    Mostly because my middle-aged family members always had something awaiting in my queue
  2. 2010-2012: Temple Run (and the subsequent Temple Run 2)
    I documented the first time I hit 1 mil points
  3. 2010-2011: Tiny Wings
    But those hills were inappropriately disproportionate
  4. 2014: Flappy Bird
    Screw that lil flappin hoe. 70 is the highest I ever scored 😔
  5. 2015-forever: Subway Surfers
    Although there seems to be some weird cultural appropriation/disrespect happening here (like how this character is their Kenya special), I've racked up over 150k in coins n there's no turning back