GRADE A TIPS FOR KEEPING YOUR JOB
- •Hour 1Greet everyone you hate. Refresh your Twitter feed incessantly, as you must catch up on the world's events
- •Hour 2Offer to make coffee for the whole office while your computer "loads". Walk around with a personal pot for everyone
- •Hour 3Take a pee/shit break in your fav restroom. Continue scrolling on your phone despite the growing line forming outside of it
- •Hour 4Refuse to react to the abundance of white privilege around you. But pop off occasionally, especially when words like "ratchet" and "ghetto" start getting thrown into weekend recaps
- •Hour 5Volunteer to run an errand for the office just to add an extra 30 minutes to your lunch break. Watch mom vlogs in your car.
- •Hour 6Take a mini mental nap while you meet with your supervisor about the week's tasks
- •Hour 7Actually address your work?
- •Hour 8Just give up & go home. You have a Pinterest recipe you've been itching to try anyway.
- •Rinse & repeat